Part 1: Episode 0: The Story Begins...

So here, we begin a new journey. Hey, I followed that Playonline.com URL and Final Fantasy XI has totally hijacked the address as its official page. Oh well, I suppose it is still better off than Final Fantasy IX and its relationship with that site...


Music: To Zanarkand (Recommended listening)



We begin with a shot of an assortment of weapons (and what appears to be a volleyball) perched atop a hill overlooking a ruined city as the sun sets in the distance. One would assume this is some kind of memorial or the like. But no. It’s just a neat shot that would look good in promotional images and makes fuck all sense otherwise.



We find a party consisting of a buffed out Conan O’Brien, a shirtless woman in a fur coat, an underage girl in Daisy Dukes...



...one of the aliens from Avatar, an overly tan fellow with the dressing skills of a five year old, and a young woman in a Japanese kimono looking get-up camping out nearby.





Tetsuya Nomura’s latest fashion disaster puts his hand on what we can only assume to be the female lead’s shoulder (what with her being the game's logo and all.) She responds by sort of sighing then staring off into the distance. I’m sure they’ll have a ton of chemistry once we get into the game proper.





After a bit, Mr. Shorts von Suspendershoodie decides to go rock climbing since the camping scene is looking pretty dead.



The camera pulls around to reveal our protagonist: Meg Ryan. This game was made in 2001. So it’s before she started looking like she is melting. In addition, fantasy cosmetics help a lot too, I’m sure. Ethers do wonders to stave off wrinkles.



This may be our last chance.



Unfortunately for us, this is no quick summary filling us in on what is going on here. This “last chance” for story telling is just setting up the framing device for the next forty hours of gameplay.

This is Final Fantasy X...




Video: Final Fantasy X Opening